Audio for those who may prefer to listen. Please allow a few moments to load

It would be difficult for us to say that we could ever conclude the story of Christian marriage because we continue to discover more about God’s plan for this covenant relationship as the years roll by, and we certainly expect that ‘discovery’ will continue to the very end. Whilst some things are yet to be revealed, Christian marriage is declared by the Apostle Paul to be an illustration of the relationship between Jesus and His church. It is this that we want to focus on in our message to the reader. In Paul’s bold declaration we see God’s desire for us to reflect His oneness and the passionate love He has for His people as we draw closer together as husband and wife.  

As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 

Ephesians 5:31-32 (NLT) 

The important thing to note is that our marriages are the reflection. It is His relationship with His people – the church that is the original. His is a portrayal of perfect love and the ultimate goal that we desire to imitate. We may look at the Love of Jesus and regard our marriage relationship as quite imperfect as a reflection of Him – and in a sense, that is a good thing! We are attempting through our marriage to imitate Christ and His love for His bride; to understand it, to develop it, and to be wildly ambitious in our pursuit of it. Jesus wants us to grow into that oneness – that unity wrought from sacrificial giving, so that we can better experience and better appreciate His unfailing love. In this age of grace, how fortunate we are to have been covered by His blood and made Holy. The image we have is seeing a loving God delighting in our efforts to portray unconditional love and service to each other, not regarding our imperfections, but made Holy and whole. 

It is interesting to see how significant the topic of marriage is in God’s Word. Some may not see it as a major theme, but as we begin to see the marriage story being used as an illustration of our personal unity with Jesus, revelation flows, and we begin to see the great imprint of marriage. Through references found in God’s Word, let us show how the illustration is illuminated, so you can be assured that Christian marriage is indeed the design of God to declare loud and clear His perfect plan for the relationship and unity of Jesus and His people.  

Jewish marriage customs: 

In the first century AD, Jewish marriage customs were different from those of modern Christian marriage. There was in Jewish custom the initial promise between families who arranged marriages for their children, quite often whilst still young.  

The Price: 

Later, and in preparation for betrothal a ‘bride price’ would be paid by the groom’s father.  

Christ purchased our freedom and redeemed us from the curse of the Law and its condemnation by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs [crucified] on a tree (cross)” 

Galatians 3:13 (AMP) 

The Marriage sealed: 

A crucial point to note is that Jewish betrothal was vastly different from engagement in modern terms. Whilst modern English translations of the Bible might use the term ‘engagement,’ and in doing so suggest a promise to be married in the future, the Jewish betrothal was a legally binding agreement that could only be broken by divorce. Essentially then betrothal sealed the marriage. The couple would not be living together, but they were legally married.  

Those of us who accept the gift of eternal life, are saying in their decision for Jesus - “I do,” and they become not only a bride waiting for Christ’s return, but in that very moment joined to Jesus. They are immediately reborn, an entirely new creation alive in the spirit, sealed and seated with Christ in heavenly places. 

But God still loved us with such great love. He is so rich in compassion and mercy. Even when we were dead and doomed in our many sins, he united us into the very life of Christ and saved us by his wonderful grace! He raised us up with Christ the exalted One, and we ascended with him into the glorious perfection and authority of the heavenly realm, for we are now co-seated as one with Christ! 

Ephesians 2:4-6 (TPT) 

Preparing a place: 

After the Jewish betrothal ceremony, the couple would return to their family homes and over a period of time - sometimes for as much as a year or more they would be separated. The groom would prepare a home for His bride, often within His father’s property. Then when everything was completed the bridegroom would stand ready, waiting to go and collect his bride. 

My Father’s house has many dwelling places. If it were otherwise, I would tell you plainly, because I go to prepare a place for you. And when everything is ready, I will come back and take you to myself so that you will be where I am. 

John 14:2-3 (TPT) 

The bridegroom would not choose the time to ‘take’ his bride into the home that he had prepared - this was entirely the decision of the groom’s father. Everything about the marriage was according to the father’s plan and timing.  

“Concerning that day and exact hour, no one knows when it will arrive, not even the angels of heaven —only the Father knows. 

Matthew 24:36 (TPT) 

During this waiting period, the bridegroom might send a gift or gifts to his bride. It might be something practical to help her prepare for their life together or perhaps simply a love-gift to encourage her in her waiting. 

 “And I will send you the Divine Encourager from the very presence of my Father. He will come to you, the Spirit of Truth, emanating from the Father, and he will speak to you about me. 

John 15:26 (TPT) 

Remember, it is the same Holy Spirit who distributes, activates, and operates these different gifts as he chooses for each believer. 

1 Corinthians 12:11 (TPT) 

What a beautiful image as Jesus uses these pictures from Jewish wedding customs to draw us into a desire to imitate His love for His bride, learning to love our own spouses with the same sacrificial love.  

There is one goal and one purpose for the follower of Christ:  to become a ‘little’ Christ who can witness to the world the love of God. We can be those who are willing to witness the beauty of a godly marriage and bring glory to the King. We can follow Gods’ plan for our marriage and become an open declaration of Christ’s love for His bride. It is a sacrifice of praise, and it is also the path that brings true satisfaction to a husband and wife blessed in covenant relationship as they serve and submit to each other. 

Marriage is not the only way to illustrate God’s passion, indeed that may be displayed in many ways, but God has chosen to use it for the benefit of many. 

May your relationship and your house be blessed. 

Steve and Khanya