Parental Witness: Discipline
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Through our discussions with couples, we have become acutely aware of how many people interpret and react to the word ‘discipline.’ For many, the immediate image is one of punishment and pain. Perhaps this stands out for so many of us because we have experienced the consequences of rule breaking. yet in family life, discipline should have a positive focus. In this message, we want to show you the critical importance of applying discipline to your children and indeed, to yourselves. We want to reach into the heart of God and convey how ‘discipline’ is one of the greatest possible expressions of love.
Here is Proverbs 22:6 in different translations (versions)
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. (NLT)
Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it. (AMP)
Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life. (GNT)
Dedicate your children to God and point them in the way that they should go, and the values they’ve learned from you will be with them for life. (TPT)
Perhaps, you get a clearer sense of the meaning of discipline from this scripture. It is all about ‘training’ and ‘directing’ our children. It is parents who are primarily responsible for this training with others like family members and school teachers supporting the process. We have to assume that parents themselves are disciplined,, otherwise how will they teach their child? In the versions of Proverbs 22:6 above, we see the importance of parental responsibility in phrases like:
‘Direct your children…’
‘dedicate your children…’
‘the values they’ve learned from you…’
So, we must accept from the outset that parents must assume a disciplinary role, and this would include any guardian who assumes a parent role. Let us not expect third parties who support our children’s learning to take on that responsibility. A school teacher for example, supports you by reinforcing the foundation you have established.
Is there correction as a part of training? Yes, of course, and this applies not only to children but to all of us. If you are not going down the right path then correction is applied, yet the process of training and directing is to lead our children into what is good and beneficial, a solid foundation for their future.
Today’s story is a true one and will hopefully demonstrate why discipline is both important and positive.
I remember that my upper primary school years were good. I was happy in that school. Every day I wanted to be in that classroom – it was comfortable, it was safe, it was very much like being at home, I suppose you could say the feeling was one of belonging. Of course if you had asked me at the time when I was ten years old to explain it, I would have struggled. Analysis would have been irrelevant and “I am happy” would probably have been the extent of my explanation. Today, over fifty years later I can reminisce with greater expression, although conveying the full extent of it is still quite difficult. That school year was secure. I was walking on that ‘yellow brick road’ with no need to consider the thorns and rough ground to my right and left. I was content. Then, a not so joyful day arrived, and on that day I began to understand where all the goodness was coming from.
The atmosphere changed in a moment. I had never seen my teacher angry or upset before. Someone had done something, and rules had been broken. Maybe they should not be called rules, maybe expectations would better describe it. I did not fully understand what had happened. I knew that my teacher was not pleased and like many of my classmates I found myself close to tears, not so much because we were afraid of the consequences of the rebuke, but simply because we had made the teacher we loved so unhappy. We all desperately wanted this wretched situation to pass, to return to the security we enjoyed. I don’t remember there ever being a struggle to establish the state of calm in our classroom. I believe that our teacher, was an excellent practitioner who cared, and with wisdom reinforced the principles of good behaviour and citizenship that our parents had taught us.
Discipline is order, it enables us to place ourselves securely within God’s plan that directs our path. Sometimes as parents we become tired, and struggle to apply discipline so that our children can find that good pathway. Effective discipline is challenging work. It requires determination, reinforcement, encouragement, and correction. We sometimes give up and give in, take shortcuts, or become inconsistent in our children’s training. If you were to ask schoolchildren whether they feel happier in the classroom of the teacher who fails to discipline, or the classroom of the teacher who is ‘strict’ but fair, then I believe the honest response would be the classroom with discipline is the one that is regarded highly, and the other classroom highly disliked. Children may initially rebel against discipline but will respond to it when applied consistently with justice and will prosper in it.
“About that time David’s son Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, began boasting, “I will make myself king.” So he provided himself with chariots and charioteers and recruited fifty men to run in front of him. Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, “Why are you doing that?”
1 Kings 1:5-6a (NLT)
Thank you for joining us.
Steve and Khanya.
And from Steve a thank you to Mr Edwards, a very gifted teacher.