Only My Push Counts - Trust and Partnership

Audio for those who may prefer to listen - please allow a few moments to load

If you have travelled on public buses in urban areas, you may be accustomed to hearing the ‘ding’ of the stop request button being pushed. A simple idea to alert the driver that you want to get off at the next stopping point. Having lived in Africa where a loud shout substitutes for a stop button, I was pleasantly reminded of this sweet little ding (or should it be ting) on my first bus journey back in London. It all seemed so delicate. Then quite suddenly my ears were attacked by a wave of ‘dings’ in quick succession. I was confused. Was it necessary for six people to inform the driver they wanted to exit, yet people were clearly pushing the button having heard and, in some cases, seen another person doing so? Even now I find this amusing. It is evidence of the difficulty we so often have in trusting others. It is as if we are declaring to everyone else in that bus – only my push counts! If I push the button the driver will respond, if you push it, the driver will ignore you and the bus will continue. 

We see the same kind of behaviour at pedestrian crossings. You push a button and start a sequence that changes the traffic lights, stops the vehicles, and gives you time to cross that busy road. Everyone knows the lights work on a timing mechanism – once that button is pressed and illuminated, the timer is on and the request is processed automatically. Nonetheless, people arriving at the crossing still push the button when they can see that the request has already been made, some frantically keep pressing the button, aware of the timer, yet still the button is pushed as if to say – my push speaks authority and I command the mechanical components of this system to be overridden and to change the traffic lights immediately.  And of course, in any event, only my push counts! 

At times we may find it hard to put our trust in others, especially strangers. It takes time to appreciate a person's values, skills, habits, and beliefs. Over time, we begin to build a greater degree of trust with growing friendship. Unfortunately, this may still not be enough to help us at the pedestrian crossing. I may still face an irresistible urge to press the button after my friend has already pressed it. We really struggle with some aspects of ‘self ‘and the desire for control, even when faced with the logic of how pointless our actions are.   

In our closer and more personal relationship with a spouse we need to develop the kind of bond that will allow us to function as one. We communicate and cooperate to discover our strengths and our weaknesses so that we can cover each other, train, and balance each other. This relationship between spouses demands more than teamwork. We are not aiming to work together but to work as one. This leaves no space for self-reliance and self-interest. Marriage starts with communication, and if you can share, agree, and humble yourself it can progress to cooperation and partnership. When partnership matures, marriage ends in poetry as you keep your hands in your pocket and allow your spouse to push the button. 

This is the goal of Christian marriage – it takes time to build poetry. Christ is looking for our marriages to reflect Him in their selflessness. Do not let trust issues or self-interest block you on your journey. Marriage requires effort and persistence to relinquish the self-life. Your investment in the pursuit of unity is an incredibly wise one because the prize is the poetry, and the poetry is sweet. 

And the husband and wife will be joined as one flesh, and after that they no longer exist as two, but one flesh. 

Mark 10:8 (TPT) 

Thank you for joining us today. If you have found this blog useful, consider sharing it so others can benefit. Use the social icons at the bottom of the page or simply copy the web address and share with friends and family. 

We look forward to presenting another blog soon. 

Steve and Khanya