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We can demolish every deceptive fantasy that opposes God and break through every arrogant attitude that is raised up in defiance of the true knowledge of God. We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One.

2 Corinthians 10:5 (TPT)

Introduction:

This blog is Part One of a two-part series on Marriage and the Battleground. We are splitting this teaching into two parts to present more manageable reading sections, particularly for those using mobile devices.

This blog looks at spiritual warfare in the marriage journey. Marriage is a primary target in the spiritual battleground and we need to know how to face the battle.  Every couple that overcomes their challenges and succeeds in building a united relationship strikes a crippling blow against every opposition and glorifies God. Our prayer is that the Holy Spirit would reveal the message that follows in a very personal way - to enable you to become and remain victorious. May your marriage and your family life be the witness that was always intended - to reflect the true character of Christ and become a source of joy, so that it provokes others to desire it for themselves.

A very special relationship:

Marriage requires us to adjust and transform. You may have found your ‘perfect’ partner, someone who shares your faith in Christ and can experience with you the joy of salvation, but you remain in the ‘flesh’ and that means ‘challenge’ and an opportunity to grow into Christ-likeness day by day. In your relationship, there may be arguments, and there will be disagreements. Marriage is filled with moments of intense joy, and others of deep disappointment as you fight for a deeper love.  This relationship is highly contested in the battleground because it is a relationship that teaches us and inspires us to reflect the nature of God.  The successful marriage will announce Jesus to the world, because it is based on His plan, a relationship of two sacrificial givers filled with unconditional love for each other and for Him.  Marriage is an image of what is to come, the beauty of Jesus coming to collect His bride [the church]. Christ and His bride in perfect union (Revelation 19:7-10). It is not surprising that the enemy works so hard against this covenant because the witness of successful marriage and the triumph of the family is a powerful force for transformation. It is the very foundation of humanity and the bedrock of society.

Good News:

First, let’s get to the good news because it affects everything that follows. If you are not aware, or not convinced of this truth, here it is - may the Holy Spirit make it real to you. This enemy who wages war against your marriage has been brought low by Jesus. The enemy has no authority over you who is covered by the blood of Christ. This is the power of the cross and we need to go beyond intellectual acceptance of this beautiful gift from Christ, not only to receive it, but to stand upon it in faith.

Then Jesus made a public spectacle of all the powers and principalities of darkness, stripping away from them every weapon and all their spiritual authority and power to accuse us. And by the power of the cross, Jesus led them around as prisoners in a procession of triumph.

Colossians 2:15 (TPT)*

If the enemy has power over anyone who is in Christ it is limited to what you are willing to hand over. His weapons are suggestion, temptation, and self-condemnation, but the truth is that you who are in Christ have authority in Jesus’ name to resist his attempts to gain a foothold over you. The expectation is that you will use the authority restored to you at the cross to enforce the triumph that Christ has gained.

Struggling with Self?

Marriage should be the most joyful and the most complete of all relationships but for many there is no victory and the marriage journey ends short of the prize! How can this be? ‘Self’ often presents the greatest struggle. Where self-interest reigns, hope for cooperation and unity between couples is lost? We should be submitting to one another and loving sacrificially, not demanding rights to what pleases us at the expense of our spouse. The command to love is God’s requirement of us toward everyone, even our enemies (Matthew 5:44) so, how much easier should it be to humble ourselves before the one we have declared we love beyond all others?

Self-control, humility and submission have always been keys to prosperous relationship. Jesus chose to submit to the Father’s will; we have to choose to submit to each other and to Christ. This is how the goal of marriage is achieved and how we become ‘one’ in identity.

If the enemy is stripped of his authority why do we sometimes face such a tough battle? He is cunning, and his trademark is and has always deception:

Now the serpent was more crafty (subtle, skilled in deceit) than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And the serpent (Satan) said to the woman, “Can it really be that God has said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?”

Genesis 3:1 (AMP)

The enemy comes into our marriage with an age-old tactic - ‘divide and conquer’. Let us consider one scenario. He comes to us individually to try to re-awaken our selfish desires so that when life happens and issues arise, whether they come at us from outside or from within our relationship, instead of immediately looking to unite to face the challenge, we disagree and confront each other. Walls rise and pride asserts itself. The blame game is announced and before we even have time to check ourselves to re-assert self-control, the damage has begun - negative words are launched and our ‘oneness’ is crumbling under the onslaught. The enemy has used no force, he has manipulated us to use the power of words and our toxic emotions against each other. Instead of seeing the spiritual force standing against them he often succeeds in making couples see each other as the enemy.

More Good News:

Having the maturity in Christ to recognise his schemes and to be ready to arrest every assault before it has any chance to magnify itself is something available to all who practice surrender and become sacrificial givers in the pursuit of oneness. We must recognise that this ability to control our words and emotions is something won over time. We need to keep pursuing spiritual knowledge and the ability to recognise the spiritual battle. Experience is a great teacher. What we have to do is to refuse the enemy ground and use the authority we have in Christ to enforce the victory. As we practice self-control, we gain the fruit of the Spirit. As you read the quotation from Galatians below, perhaps you will recognise the importance of all the spiritual gifts in building relationship: 

But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23 (AMP)

Putting aside self-interest and practicing the spiritual gifts is not simply a patch to cover the issue, it tackles the very heart of the opposition against us. Yet as a couple we know from our own experiences and from counselling that application of the solution can be difficult. Even as we write these words to you, we have to do so hoping that the weight of the Holy Spirit will accompany them to meet your situation, because an intellectual knowledge of the solution alone is not enough to effect change.

Do you desire change to overcome stagnation in your marriage, or to overcome arguments and disagreements? Do you need the courage to ask for forgiveness or be able to give and receive it? Does your relationship struggle to overcome selfish habits or actions that are hurtful to each other? Do you need grace to take your hands off the wheel and surrender to a God who is able to help in every challenge and to rescue in every circumstance? The Holy Spirit can answer and instruct you in a way that will address your very personal need. Nonetheless, in every situation the Word of God gives us keys to use to engage ourselves in the battleground.

In the second part of this message we address the more on the battleground and our part in it. We hope you will read the conclusion of this message in - Marriage and the Battleground - Part Two

Steve and Khanya

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