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Within these sayings will be found the revelation of wisdom
and the impartation of spiritual understanding.
Use them as keys to unlock the treasures of true knowledge.
Those who cling to these words will receive discipline
to demonstrate wisdom in every relationship
and to choose what is right and just and fair.

Proverbs 1:2-3 (TPT)

about wisdom:

There would be little value in reading this article that uses the word ‘wisdom’ so often without some clarity. It is a word often used without a real grasp of what it means or how to explain it. Perhaps it is because ‘wisdom’ conveys something beyond intellect and we therefore have some difficulty with it. When we hear this word, our innermost being responds to it, but trying to communicate it is something more challenging. Whilst there are plenty of dictionary definitions, as Christians, we find that there is a spiritual definition that is different. The worldly definition of ‘wisdom’ might be summarised as something like:

the accumulation of learning over time, and through personal experience that allows us to have not only a deep well of knowledge, but also the ability to apply it with understanding and make good judgements and decisions.

We have no problem in agreeing that a degree of wisdom is available to all of us with experience, yet there is an issue with the time requirement since this definition of wisdom demands maturity. In relationships with our spouse, family and friends, we often need the abundance of wisdom today not tomorrow. Now is the time of our need - amid a challenging circumstance. When we need wisdom today, we can ask for it, as King Solomon asked for it. We are allowed as sons and daughters of the King to ask for spiritual understanding as and when we need it. It’s always a gift that can be acquired over time, but in our experience, boldness pays dividends - God loves our demonstration of faith to ask for something in a moment of need; to seek a shortcut when we need help - to be outrageously expectant of His positive response.

Don’t you know that I’m ready
to pour out my spirit of wisdom upon you
and bring to you the revelation of my words
that will make your heart wise?

Proverbs 1:23b (TPT)

Let us venture our first and most important advice regarding wisdom. When you need to be wise in dealing with the people you care for and spend your life with, forget about running to every ‘agony aunt’ or to the friend who can only offer you a response steeped in the wisdom of the world. Ask God for His supernatural revelation and understanding that will equip you with the wisdom to speak life into every relationship. There is a bonus for your faith and boldness; the beauty of this supernatural wisdom is that it comes with the gift of God’s perspective and allows us to address issues with His heart and not our own. We begin to see the other person as He sees them, and that changes everything!

the impact of wisdom

As Christians we know how wisdom builds because we experience it as we relate to God and as we receive insight and revelation from His Word. The impact of the more immediate gift of supernatural wisdom that comes in our real moment of need is something amazing - truly beyond words. Godly wisdom and worldly wisdom are very different from each other. All wisdom is acquired, yet it is the source of knowledge that determines the nature of wisdom. Perhaps you have noticed how much God’s heart and man’s heart seem to have opposite viewpoints. To God, wisdom is a gift he pours out, to the world, wisdom is an achievement.

Wisdom is a gift from a generous God,
and every word he speaks is full of revelation
and becomes a fountain of understanding within you.

Proverbs 2:6 (TPT)

Relationships and Marriage

The differences between Godly and worldly wisdoms are noticeable in all relationships, especially in marriage where the world simply cannot accept or fathom God’s declaration that in marriage two become one. Even in some nations that once accepted the idea that married people have a unity that joins them, this has been abandoned for a universal view of the single identity.

Everyone carries in themselves God’s image and character. It is in salvation that the fullness of this true character is unveiled. Whether male or female, each has the full expression of God’s character, yet we clearly see that the sexes display many of these characteristics in different ways. God’s plan is utterly simple yet utterly complete. The differences between men and women were always intended as a beautiful counterbalance that would present the opportunity for cooperation and oneness. The world often sees the differences as a source of challenge, conflict, and the foundation for argument, abuse and control. The world’s view is centred around individualism. ‘Me’, and what ‘I deserve’ rebels against the spirit of cooperation.

It’s all about me…really!

Wisdom surely expects all of us, whoever we are and whatever we believe to recognise that our humanity is weak, and we must be ready to face the consequences of human weakness in our relationships. We build the image of our spouse and the perfect relationship; we expect our vision of perfect character in our loved ones to be completely fulfilled. We map out a perfect plan we have in mind for our future, but when something goes wrong and our spouse disappoints us, we find it hard to acknowledge and deal with disappointment, to rebuild and move forward again. Two things that we need to accept is that firstly, your spouse, your friend, your family members are not perfect, and neither are you, we make mistakes. When circumstances arise that test your relationship be ready to respond in a way that leads to healing rather than destruction. Secondly, be aware that in some cases, your disappointment is not the failure of the other person, it is simply a failure to match the vision you built yourself rather than one you built together. Whatever the relationship, be ready to deal with each other in life-giving ways. Call on Jesus who understands your humanity to help you learn, share, restore and build. God never promised His followers exemption from the trials and disappointments of life, but He does promise this;

I will answer your cry for help every time you pray,
and you will find and feel my presence
even in your time of pressure and trouble.
I will be your glorious hero and give you a feast.

Psalm 91:15 (TPT)

All change

Here is a phrase we often hear, perhaps you have heard it also;

“I thought that once we were married, I would change him/her.”

It doesn’t work. Manipulation in a relationship never works. Such statements are based on worldly ideas. If this is you, and you are still convinced that the other person needs to change then do two things: firstly, look in the nearest mirror and say;

“This person needs to change.”

Then, ask God to work in both your hearts and do whatever is needed to build your relationship and identity together.

Sometimes, ‘change’ becomes an accusation to try to justify ourselves and claim a worldly righteousness. We argue, point a finger and declare ‘You’ve changed’. This accusing declaration to someone we have been in relationship with for a long time is often an excuse to cover other issues, but sometimes it appears a genuine accusation because we are unhappy with physical or emotional change that comes with growing maturity. This surely displays a lack of wisdom. Everyone changes - it’s a design feature of the human condition. To those wanting covenant marriage relationships wisdom might suggest that you look to marry for the things that remain. Make a forever relationship decision based upon those characteristics and qualities you see in the person that will stand the test of time rather than the fragile things that always change or fade away.

For Singles

We would like to say to our readers who are looking for lasting relationship - be safe and build a relationship with trust and understanding over time. Don’t be quick to reveal and expose yourself to a stranger with a gifted tongue or a winning smile. Pray for supernatural wisdom concerning relationships and build slowly but surely on a solid foundation so that you acquire discernment and understanding that will help you in a decision concerning a particular relationship. When you have found the right person, the discernment that comes will help you handle the challenges of life and covenant love in a Godly way.

conclusion

We are always thankful for those drawn to read these teachings. As always, more could be said. We encourage you to use the search bar on the main blog page to enter a keyword and get cross references for words like wisdom or change in other blogs we have written.

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Steve and Khanya